Are You A Mind F**K?

Are you one of those people who over analyses, over thinks, is always trying to figure things out in your head, and has self-sabotaging thoughts? Jumps to conclusions, makes up scenarios in your head from nothing?

It’s something I have been aware of in my world for a few years now.

It can be called Mental Masturbation, the monkey mind, thinking stinking, as well as many other things. Most recently my new boyfriend called me a MIND F**K!! He’s inspired my to write this article.

Because, Yes sometimes I am a Mind F**K.

When I hit my early 20’s, I started to become aware of the insanities in my head. All the lies, the constant analysis, the over thinking and I started to take steps to recover.  I did everything from 12 step recovery, to Yoga, to meditation, to dance and in the last few years Access Bars has been my saving grace. All these modalities have given me information, insights, change and space for me to be ME, beyond all the lies of my crazy mind.

I would go through phases. There’d be phases where I’d be doing lots Yoga, looking after myself, eating well, getting my bars run, creating and having lots of space and ease in my mind and body.

Then something would change. I’d wake up after a few days of feeling great and my head would be heavy. I start to do obsessive thinking. I’m getting irritated, frustrated. I don’t feel like me. I’m thinking about things, work, other people. All stuff I don’t want to be thinking about. I use the tool from Access Consciousness ‘WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO?’

Because you know 98% of our thoughts do not belong to us. I use this ‘Return all these thoughts that are not mine to sender’ numerous times. I go get my Bars run. I start to feel more like me again. Yet, still there’s this sense of un-ease, this busy mind that seems hell bent on finding a problem.

See, over the years I’ve discovered the MIND IS A DANGEROUS THING. The mind’s job is to limit you. Anything that goes on in my head is 99% of the time LIES.

I have a magical, beautiful life. Everything I ask for, shows up. I live in sunny South Florida, near the beach. I get to go Yoga regularly, dance on the beach, teach Kids dance, am able to share with people a Body treatment called Access Bars that creates lasting change. I earn good money and constantly creating more. I have recently started a relationship with a beautiful, kind, caring man who is changing my world.

I LOVE MY LIFE. Yet, there’s a little niggly voice that is still trying to MIND F**K ME.

I hear it. Its very subtle. ‘This is too good to be true’. You can’t be this happy all the time. Don’t allow your self to be too happy because Its all going to fall apart. These are all the LIES OF THE MIND: Self- Sabotage.

I took something my boyfriend said the other day and twisted it into meaning something else. He called me out: ‘You Are a Mind F**K’.

He was right. In that moment, that’s exactly what I was doing. Why?

Who knows really. Its the Insanities of the Mind that we will never understand. You can’t understand insanities.

All I know is that a mind that is left un-trained is a dangerous thing. I have learned down through the years to train my mind. I have an incredibly powerful mind so unless I train my mind to see the good, to be grateful for what I have, to have joy in my life, to do the things I love to do then my mind will go straight to self-sabotage. A mind that is bored will go to destruction.

I don’t watch television. I keep active and moving because it makes me feel good. I surround myself with caring people. I love taking Yoga classes and teaching Dance. When I’m creating, I’m happy. I read only inspiring books. I listen to music a lot and watch dance movies. Get enough sleep and eat regularly. For someone who moves as much as I do then rest and food is important for my sanity. I never watch the news, read the papers or watch violent films. It doesn’t inspire me. I have a lot of gratitude for my life and if I don’t keep that gratitude by doing the things that i love and staying away from the things that kill my spirit then I will very quickly go into self-sabotage.

I’ve learned that if I don’t give my mind jobs to do and keep it active with all the good things i like in this world then it will dominate me with lies and insanities.

So now, when that Mind masturbation comes in, I ask questions:

What am I aware of?

Who does this belong to?

Who am I being?

Are any of these thoughts relevant?

and What could I be creating here?

Because, most of the times, when my mind is creating drama and problems, it’s because its bored.

So, what can I add to my life right away that would be fun?

So grateful to Gary Douglas and Dain Heer the creator and co-founder of Access Consciousness for bringing the phenomena of Access Bars to this world. It has been the fastest way for me to get out of this Monkey Mind and actually create a life that works for me with tools and questions that actually work.

And the biggest revelation of all ‘THAT I AM NOT AS F**KED UP AS I THINK I AM’.