HOW DO I CHOOSE?

I’m going to start this with, how much I love 70% of my life. I wake every morning to the sunshine and I’m within short distance of the beach. I teach kids dance every week and get the gift they are for me.  I have clients who come to me for weekly session and are choosing totally beyond this dense reality. I get to do my sessions in the most beautiful, nurturing space. I get to take regular hot Yoga classes and have so much choice with different schools and teachers. I can get my bars run when I get cranky and tired. I get to host these amazing facilitators with Access Consciousness and be inspired to create more and more. Last but not least, I have the funniest, kindest, gorgeous, caring, gentle (with a bit of crazy!!) boyfriend who I adore waking up to every morning and who wants to create a life with me.

So, 70% of my life is amazing, I love it and I am so inspired to what else I can add and create. 30% of my life does not fit with all I mentioned above.

I work for the last year in a restaurant where I live. I took the job when I moved here when I was desperate and needed quick money to get my life started here. I never intended for it to be long term. One year later, I’m still working there and it makes up the 30% of my life that sucks the life out of me. So, for what reason would I not have 100% of my life amazing?

I would create 30% as limited and make this part of my life hard by continuing to work here. I don’t like the environment. It doesn’t inspire me to greatness like the other 70% of my life. Why should I not be inspired to greatness 100% of my time here?

I’m not saying that by working in a restaurant that you can’t be achieving greatness. Of course you can. The environment of this particular restaurant is not kind. Yet for me, there’s something else calling me. I’ve been asking the universe for a while now, what else is possible?

Hey universe, you know me better than anyone. You know my energy, what would be possible for me to work with, that is fun, joyful, inspires me and others and is something that I may never even thought to ask for?

Could you put that in front of me please? Where do I have to go to find this? Who can help me?

See, I know the universe is magic and I am magic and so many different possibilities are possible. I don’t have to hate 30% of my life. I could love 100% of my life and I’m asking for this.

I know I may make some of my life hard. Why? To fit in with everyone else in this reality who choose pain and struggle.

You know, misery is optional and loves company. It’s almost like we fall into these traps of relationships and jobs and other stuff that DO NOT make us happy, yet because they are familiar, we stay in them.

I’m really not someone who is afraid of change, so being in this restaurant for over a year when really not wanting to be there, has been intense for me. I’m asking what’s the value of being here?

What am I proving with this job? What’s the gift I’m not seeing here?

All these insane points of view come up. Like, I’m proving life is hard. I can’t have it all. Some of my life must be difficult. I’m trying to still fit into this world. I’m proving, I can’t make all my income from my business. I’m stopping myself from putting all my energy on creating and building my business. I can’t trust myself to create money so I have to have some security coming from a job!!

I’m looking at all these insane points of view and I’m getting NO MORE. No more, choosing only 70% happiness. No more, holding myself back. Look at my insane points of view and say ‘Hey universe, i’m insane. Can you show me a different possibility?

Where can I go to be a greater contribution? Where can I be inspired and inspire others. Who would like me to work with them in creating a greater world 100% of the time and not just 70%?

What action do I require to take? Take a leap and leave the restaurant now? Will that create more ease for me?

Or will I keep going there universe until we create something greater? If, I keep asking and demanding a different choice here, can you deliver it to me?

Please universe, I’m very impatient, can you show me its on the way?

No more, of just 70% happiness. I don’t do half measures. I’m in this for the full experience universe.

Please show me the way

With cherries on top

Amy